


Pining over a shinsengumi spy probably isn't the best idea when you're a criminal, but Bansai is doing it anyway

by Brimstone_and_Roses



Series: When life becomes so dull you agree to a date with Kawakami Bansai, you know you're fucked [1]
Category: Gintama
Genre: I don't know either honestly, M/M, Pining, Takasugi the brooding emo, The kiheitai is just one very disfunctional family, What is this ship you ask?, an attempt at humour but the author is about as funny as a wet tea towel, but Bansai just doesn't realise till Matako spells it out for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:13:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27074029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brimstone_and_Roses/pseuds/Brimstone_and_Roses
Summary: Bansai find himself captivated by the song of a particular Shinsengumi spy, however this foreign feeling of love is leaving him distracted. With no other choice, he turns to his fellow Kiheitai members for help and finds that literally none of them know how to handle it.
Relationships: Kawakami Bansai/Yamazaki Sagaru
Series: When life becomes so dull you agree to a date with Kawakami Bansai, you know you're fucked [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975984
Kudos: 14





	Pining over a shinsengumi spy probably isn't the best idea when you're a criminal, but Bansai is doing it anyway

**Author's Note:**

> A prequel of sorts to a crackfic I finished a few days ago.
> 
> I wrote this in about 4 hours overall at 3am and it's unbeta'd so don't expect.. Well, don't expect anything really.
> 
> Note: This ship is something that in canon, I am fully aware wouldn't work and would be extremely fucked up. This is fanfiction. I like the ideas I can make out of the characters, that's why I write this shit.

The Kiheitai was a group of horrific, infamous criminals. From petty not-so-well-known recruits to their leader with the status of the most wanted man. Kawakami Bansai came close to that. Wanted for the assassinations of many, attempted corruption of the Shinsengumi, baseless murder whenever he simply felt like it, and a whole other list of crimes that'd get him the death sentence. In short, he was dangerous, wanted, and not quite the person you'd want to find knocking at your door.

Though in the recent weeks he had seemingly disappeared as far as the shinsengumi was concerned. No sightings, no assassinations with his telltale signs, nothing. Turns out murderers had those weeks too, the weeks where he just needed to take a break and think to themselves for a while.

Takasugi rather bluntly told him he was being ridiculous and that he should get over himself. "You can't be bothered by these things," smoke lingered around the leader in wispy ribbons, slivers curling out from the kiseru balanced at the tips of his fingers. Moonlight cast a faint glow into the room through the window, the silhouette of Takasugi casting a looming shadow that sprawled across the floor. "Just sort it out quickly, or I'll do it for you."

Bansai stood by the doorway, expression indistinguishable due to the shadows blanketing his face. His body unmoving, he retained that composed bearing, only nodding. "I apologise, I'll sort this issue at once." Monotonous voice hiding any trail of his intentions, Bansai took his leave without further comment. Takasugi didn't seem in the mood for small talk tonight- not with that brooding look on his face.

Now, just what was this issue? Simple; the infectious song of Yamazaki Sagaru, spy of the Shinsengumi. Ever since the night of Itou's failed uprising, Bansai had found himself to be intoxicated by the song of the man he was instructed to kill. That day, faced with the option of mercy, he miraculously found himself choosing to allow the officer to live on.

His song was addictive. It was so familiar, yet at the same time so new. A refreshing change of pace compared to the day to day loop of the Kiheitai. Bansai wished to hear it continue, he wished to listen to it till the finale, till the magnificent crescendo right before the conclusion. It simply hadn't felt right to cut such a beautiful song short like that when it had such potential.

Many a failed attempts to recreate the same magnificent sensation of hearing that song had driven him insane. Night after night he spent with shamisen in hand, plucking the strings in a way that just never felt right. If only he could hear a little more, he might have been able to capture it. Days of searching through the town passed, and not a single person he encountered carried anything close to the enchanting melody of Yamazaki Sagaru, only further fueling his curiosity.

Surely such a unique, unheard of song would belong to someone more.. Well, someone more. The moment he encountered Gintoki felt similar, yet at the same time Bansai knew the heart of that song well- it was the same heart at the song of Shinsuke Takasugi and Katsura Kotarou. However, Yamazaki was just so much more. Remarkable, unparalleled by any other. It was the first time Bansai felt unable to recreate the song of someone's soul in physical form.

Upon having heard him explain this predicament, however, Takasugi only rolled his eyes. It was obvious to him just what was going on here, but the idea of losing one of his best swordsman and strategists to something as pathetic and fleeting as temporary feelings of love and infatuation wasn't ideal. He could only hope Bansai would realise his stupidity soon enough and get over this before it was too late and Takasugi was required to take matters into his own hands.

Unfortunately for Takasugi, Bansai had different plans. This song was too notable to ignore- or worse yet end so prematurely- and as such he had decided that someone like Takasugi wasn't the greatest to go to for advice as his answers all ended in some variation of the word murder. Of course, that left both Matako and Hanpeita, his fellow Kiheitai members.

Hanpeita was their strategist, however Bansai didn't believe any form of advice from him outside of battle was necessarily a good idea. Any plan that didn't involve war was almost certain to involve young girls in some way (which he uselessly claimed was only because he was a feminist), earning him a beat down from both Bansai and Matako, the latter especially.

Matako, however, seemed far more in touch with her feelings. If Bansai just explained that he couldn't tear his mind Yamazaki's song, she was sure to understand. At the very least, she'd be more helpful than the other two. And so, off to Matako's room it was.

Her room was only a few doors from Takasugi's, so the walk from one to the other took all of about thirty seconds. "Matako," Bansai didn't bother to wait for a reply or confirmation that he could enter, grabbing it and sliding it open.  
"Oi- wait next time, will you?! I could have been getting changed in here, you damn pervert!" Matako spun round from her spot standing by the window, brows furrowed in annoyance at the sudden intrusion. Her expression was soon to soften however when she saw who it was. "Ah, Bansai-senpai! Good to see you, did you have anything to report?"

Bansai shook his head and took a few long strides into the room, covering the majority of the way to Matako. "I may have a minor problem, I daresay. I am inclined to believe you may be the best to help me rid myself of it."  
"Me?" Matako raised a finger to point towards herself with a look of shock painted on her face. "My help? Go ahead, shoot, I'm all ears," she smiled warmly, finding herself a seat at one end of the kotatsu set up in the middle of the room. She gestured for Bansai to do the same, waving a hand to the seat opposite of her.

"You have my thanks," a relieved hum sounded from his throat as he kneeled onto the ground. The kotatsu was covered with almost everything you could imagine. There were several empty tea cups, a plate or two, the two pistols so often seen at Matako's hips, and a vase full of flowers. "So about this minor problem, Takasugi-san tells me to be rid of it however I do not know how. I daresay I have found myself stuck by it."

Matako leader eagerly across the small table, eyes wide and glistening at the mere mention of Takasugi. "Well if it's Takasugi-sama, you should listen to him," she almost sounded offended by the fact Bansai had blatantly disregarded what her precious Takasugi-sama had instructed of him.  
"If it were anything else, I would follow any order he gave me. However it is my assumption that you are more in tune with your emotions than he is."

Matako quirked a curious brow, her interest now thoroughly piqued at the word 'emotions'. Such a monotone, stone-faced killer as Bansai rarely showed any clue as to how he was feeling, the idea of him openly admitting to anything like this was outrageous. "You got me, please continue," she urged, gesturing with a hand to continue on with whatever his story was.  
"Well," Bansai looked almond defeated as he sighed, "I have encountered something unlike ever before. I daresay I cannot take my mind from a particular song."

Blinking, Matako groaned in annoyance, "that's it!? You got a song stuck in your head?" Hands slammer against the table, she leaner back and whined, "stop getting my hopes up like that, I thought you finally had something interesting to say."  
"You're misunderstanding me, Matako. This song; it doesn't stem from any idol or group, it stems from someone's very soul. I cannot stop thinking about this person and it is becoming a great hindrance. Their song, it has ensnared me with a bite more vicious than any I have encountered in the past."

Now Matako was blinking yet again, though this time her mouth hung open and her eyes were wide open, just barely avoiding popping out of their sockets. "Wait, wait, wait- so you're.. You're telling me-" hysterical laughter burst from her throat, hands clutching her stomach. "Oh my god, Bansai! You're kidding, right?"  
"I would not kid about this."  
"Holy shit!" Another pause for a laughing fit interrupted her, leaving Bansai both incredibly confused and offended. Was she not taking him seriously?

Cupping a hand to her mouth, she yelled out, "Oi, Hanpeita! Get in here!" Every sentence she spoke only further puzzled Bansai: why was Hanpeita now getting involved in this? At an utter loss at what was going through his teammate's head, he shook his head and prepared to head off. If he was only going to be laughed at, what was the point in staying.

Unfortunately, his exit was prevented by Hanpeita appearing in the doorway, fish eyes curiously glancing across the room. "Yes, Matako-san?"  
She sprung up almost immediately, rushing across to the doorway and roughly grasping at Hanpeita by the wrists. "You just have to hear this," she giggled, standing him by the kotatsu and giving him a sharp push to the floor. Unable to object, he only went along with it and made himself comfortable at the now almost full kotatsu.

The gunslinger took her own seat again and all eyes fell back to the man in question. "Come on, tell him what you just said," she encouraged, hardly able to contain her chuckling.  
"I don't see the hilarity in my predicament. I simply explained I have become enraptured by someone's song." Matako gave an expectant look to the third member at the table, however he only returned her a perplexed hum of bewilderment. For a few seconds, it hadn't quite clicked what Bansai's words had truly meant, however with a suggestive wiggle of Matako's eyebrows to point him in the right direction, it finally fell into place with an incredibly satisfying and near hilarious finish.

"Oh, my. I must say, this is one of your more outré comments. I would not have expected that from.. Well, you."  
"Will one of you please explain just what this is. My patience is wearing thin, I daresay," Bansai's tone was losing it's typical composure with each word, growing increasingly intolerant every time either Matako or Hanpeita dodged the question.

The former finally took a deep breath, calming herself after what seemed like an endless fit of laughter. "We'll explain, you emotionally inept idiot. Meet us in the main hall in ten minutes, I want Takasugi-sama in on this and we need tea."  
Bansai raised a finger, "ah, I do not belive Takasugi-san is quite in the mood for talking-"  
"No, we're getting him in on this," unwavering, Matako pushed herself to her feet. She grabbed Hanpeita on her way passed, dragging him out alongside her. Well, Bansai tried to warn her, however she seemed adamant that she would be pulling the pensive leader from his sour state.

He only sighed as he watched her take a turn down the hall towards Takasugi's room. He could hear the faint sound of her singsong voice as she began her attempts at persuading him. It seemed she was making this far more unnecessarily convoluted than it needed to be. That was Matako for you, always going just one step further than needed. Well, he still needed his answers, so what could he do other than make his way to the main hall in a few minutes.

\---

Sliding the door open, Bansai was met with the sight of all three teammates sitting around a small table. It was set out with four cups of freshly prepared tea, and judging by that strong smell it was his favourite brand. Even Takasugi had emerged from his 'brooding lair' as Matako had dubbed it.

"Bansai! Sit!" Matako and Hanpeita were both chuckling between themselves, and in a rare sight Takasugi was somehow smiling. Not even that quite frankly disturbing maniacal grin he got when plotting someone's demise, just a genuine relaxed smile. If he were honest, that was mildly more unnerving than that typical sadistic grin. Just what in the god damn hell was going on here..

He cautiously stepped into the room, taking his seat in an awkward silence. Three pairs of staring eyes pierced through his very soul, however he never once wavered. Bansai simply took his drink in his hands and brought it to his lips. Well, it was certainly his favourite brand- his favourite type too. "Will I be getting an explanation now, or are you still keeping me in the dark? Are you going to help or not?"

"I'm getting to it," Matako dismissed with the wave of a hand. "Now, tell us exactly how you're feeling about this mystery person's song."  
Bansai paused for a moment, placing the cup back on the table. How to describe how he felt... "It inspires me. Day in and day out, it pushes me through whatever may be going on. It is my true motivation, I daresay. It is so enticing, I cannot help the urge to hear more. I wish to spend my time doing nothing but hearing that sweet, beautiful melody. I have never heard of such a song before. It isn't the same as hearing someone strong such as Takasugi-san, however. It is not unpredictable, nor is it entirely new. It feels so familiar, like home, yet also so original and refreshing. I daresay my heart beats to its melody, it is affecting my very soul itself."

"My god, you are so fucking whipped." The gunslinger leaned backwards and laughed, though this time it felt less mocking. "Listen, Bansai-senpai. I'll just say it- you're in love. Undoubtedly."  
Bansai scoffed in disbelief, "impossible. I can't be."  
Takasugi finally found it his turn to speak. "I told you to sort this out because it's love, Bansai. We have no time for that here, however if it helps you get over it quicker I'm willing to help you."

Bansai shook his head in defense, "no, I can't be." It was beginning to sound less like disbelief and more like a concerned statement.  
"You can be," assured Hanpeita calmly, "everyone can love, even you."  
"I don't want to hear that from someone who only loves little girls."  
"I am a feminist, not a lolicon."  
"Sure you are, lolicon."

"Anyways," Matako cut this budding argument off before things could grow any worse, "You're in love, Bansai-senpai. You might not like it, but it's something you have to accept if you want to get over it. What are you so worried about it for anyways? You're decent looking, and everyone loves a guy with an instrument."  
"It's not that, it's just.. Well, I daresay it wouldn't be quite right for me to be in love with them."  
"Is this because they're a guy or something? 'Cause there's nothing wrong with that, nobody cares about that stuff anymore. Love is love, you know," she took a glance towards a certain other member at the table, "unless you're Hanpeita, he's just disgusting."  
"No, it's not that they're a guy- well they are but that's besides the point- it's just.." All eyes bore into him, impatiently awaiting whatever his next words may be. Bansai considered those next words carefully before finally settling on what to say. "Their name is Yamazaki Sagaru," he started, "he's a spy."  
Takasugi laughed with the exaggerated roll of his one visible eye, "a spy? That's the issue? Bansai, we have spies in the Kiheitai."  
"For the Shinsengumi," Bansai finished bluntly.

A simultaneous _'oh' _sounded across the room, and all fell into an awkward silence. Matako sipped her tea, eyes flicking from left to right, avoiding any contact with Bansai. All of a sudden she seemed to be feeling awfully guilty for bringing this up. Hanpeita only stared downwards, expressionless, into the table below as if it were the most interesting thing since sliced bread. Takasugi took a very sharp and long inhale from his kiseru, holding in the smoke for a few moments before expelling it in a steady stream.__

__"Well then," surprisingly enough, it was the leader himself to break the silence, "I say we kill him. Problem fixed."  
"Takasugi-sama!" scolded Matako, almost immediately shrinking back after realising her sudden outburst. "Ah, I apologise for yelling, Takasugi-sama. However I don't believe killing this Yamazaki Sagaru is the best choice."  
"Why don't you kidnap him, then he'll have no choice but to do as you say," Hanpeita's suggestion was next, however it was quickly shut down with a particularly vicious smack across the head from Matako. "Not that either, you freak! You can tell none of you have ever been in love."_ _

__Bansai, now sick of his teammates bickering when they were supposed to be helping him, butted into the conversation, "so what exactly am I supposed to do? I refuse to kill him- cutting his song off so soom would be unforgivable- and kidnapping would only give him further reason to dislike me."  
"Hold on, wait-" Matako leaned across the table with a raised brow, " _'further reason' _? This guy already doesn't like you?"  
"I belive so. While we were allied with Kamotarou Itou I very near killed him."  
"Oh no- you did _what _?!"  
"I stabbed him in the chest under orders of Itou."  
"Yeah, I got that, it's just.. You almost killed him?! Man, you are gonna have some issues getting with this guy."_____ _

______Oh yes, Bansai was fully aware of that. Not only was Yamazaki supposedly his enemy due to their opposing occupations, but he'd also just barely survived that stab wound. He'd spent days in the hospital hooked up to several wires and tubes keeping him alive: Bansai had visited once or twice at night while Yamazaki had slept. "I understand that. Though I came here to get your advice, not your scathing remarks about my past mistakes."  
Matako hummed deep in thought, as did both of the others. Surely between the three of them they could at least come up with something._ _ _ _ _ _

______It was then the blonde gasped, grabbing the attention of all gathered at the table. "I've got it," she exclaimed, "I'll lend you my rom-com DVDs!" The three men groaned, heads all slamming into the table in unison, tea cups shaking in protest. So much for getting their hopes up, they should have expected as much. While she claimed to be such an expert on love, the tough reality was that she was no better than the rest of them._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Hey! I'm not kidding! It'll work, I swear. It's how it always goes- you meet, one of you does something dumb, they apologise and all is better and then you kiss and make up! Leave him a cute little note or something and tell him to meet you somewhere romantic, say you're sorry and I'm sure he'll accept a date." Everyone raised their heads with exasperated sighs before Bansai himself finally spoke up.  
"Does anyone have any better suggestions? I must say that I doubt such a plan would work." Both Takasugi and Hanpeita gave a defeated shake of their heads._ _ _ _ _ _

______Well then, it seemed they would simply have to make Matako's plan work._ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I really just enjoy writing this stuff. It would never work in canon (for several rather obvious reasons) but hey this is fanfiction.


End file.
